OEJ, Don't be so hard on yourself, and never let anyone harp on you about smoking. There are many circumstances that cause a person to take up smoking or any other number of vises one may have. I don't know anyone without a vise "even those who like to condemn smokers have their own vises they should contend to before preaching", its just that some are seen as more acceptable then others, but none the less still a hazardous influence. Each of us has a personal Journey to walk and nobody can walk it for them, nor should they try and alter another persons journey. When the timing is right "for You" you will quit "if that is a part of your journey" know what I mean.
To be honest, I've been a smoker & non-smoker and my personal journey as a non-smoker has never lit any fireworks for me "meaning" for all the good benifits I was told I could expect to experience, none of of them ever came true. In fact, when I quit the first time for 2 years I experienced more shortness of breath then I ever did smoking two packs a day, and when I asked my Cardiologist for a reason why, all he could say was " we don't understand why thats the case with some people, but it is" And in fact, I still have issues with the whole not smoking thing ,but with the problems with my head increasing I finally had to give it a try to see if lowering the toxins might help, not to mention my vascular issues, or how I feel about hubby seeing me arrest and how seeing me smoke worries him, he saved my life 13 years ago, the least I can do, for what its worth is do my best to make his life less stressful.
I get really down on people when they try to tell my hubby he should quit smoking to support me, especally my number of specalists, I tell you, I've set them all straight on that matter. IF they want to bitch at me when I am their patient thats one thing, but nobody has any right to tell another what they should or shouldn't do to support someone else, hell if it wasn't for him I would have been dust 13 years ago, and thats a fact. It's my journey, my issue, Hell he was only 11 when I started smoking, so like he had any great influence on my addiction.
Anyways, sorry for ranting, I just despise it when people badger someone about something that's such a personal journey that they really probably know little about when it comes to how that persons journey started in the first place. And I think people need to practice more compassion then preaching "just my personal opinon". And more Prayer & good energies then Ranting & complaining.
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