Post
by Dr Strange » Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:13 pm
Ahh, the last thing you people need is to hear from my mopey arse. You ever just get to a point where none of it matters?
I kind of didn't want to get into this but my youngest son is having dental surgery tomorrow and I'm all twisted up over this. That boy is my light and my joy. I know everything is going to be okay but geez, he's only six; he doesn't need to be going through this garbage.
I'm going to buy the new DC SuperFriends Batmobile for him after work so we can give it to him tomorrow afterwards, try to cheer him up a bit, but it feels hollow. I want to make this better, I want to make it so he doesn't have to do this. I'm his daddy, and that's what I'm supposed to do, protect him.
I keep thinking about him being wheeled away and I can't force myself to stay calm about it all. When that boy was born it was like my heart was pulled out and placed on my arm and it's just so vulnerable. I'm never not worrying about him, you know? I'm never not wondering where he is or if he's okay.
I know we're blessed and I know he's healthy and I know it could be worse, but he's my boy and I don't want this for him. Becoming a father was the single most life changing experience of my life and the power of that birth six years ago still resonates in me; it's just so powerful.
What tha hell am I talking about??? I am so sorry for all this but I don't have the heart to delete it, so again, sorry.