Catching up

[Murfreesboro]

Well, see, that's the thing. Santa Claus is a man, even though he has a very specific costume. But the Easter Bunny isn't human. Real bunnies are sweet and cute. Grown men in bunny costumes, not so much.

[Andybev01]

HA! He does look like one of the kids on the school bus.

I think that anyone dressed as Frank The Rabbit would definitely scare the kids away.

...and many adults.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

I'm going to be busy the rest of the week, so I just want to wish everybody here a Happy Easter. Stay safe and healthy my friends.

[Andybev01]

Hippity-hoppity to you and yours.

[Murfreesboro]

Happy Easter to you all, too!

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

I admit that due to our schedule my wife and I don't get to attend every practice that our kids have, but last week we went to their annual martial arts presentation. I know that from talking with the other parents that do attend regularly that they always tell us how good Phoebe is, but we didn't expect what we saw there.

Both of the girls have been doing martial arts since they were young, Sam is good at it but she trains for self defense only, and she doesn't care to use it for bragging. Phoebe started doing it and gymnastics at 3 and her teachers have always said that she was a natural at both.

When we were at the event we saw Phoebe show a very aggressive side to her opponents, she didn't really hurt anybody but she took them out swiftly and she even beat the older kids that she competed against, some of them were 14 years old. When we saw that she would be facing kids that were twice her age and size we were worried, but she actually beat every opponent there.

In the finals we watched her, with lightning speed, distract her opponent with a handstand then jump up and kick a older kid in the face before he knew what hit him, and he was the kid that everybody expected to win the competition, and that was the first indication we had that she was good, but we had no idea what was coming.

Then the performance portion of the presentation was next and Phoebe was a featured performer, we watched her do 5 consecutive backflips in a row, then transition into a flying spin kick and break a wooden board with her foot while still in the air, then land and break 2 more boards on both sides of her with her fists without missing a beat, and the whole thing happened in about 20 seconds.

The crowd erupted, and one of the parents that was sitting beside me grabbed me and started shaking me with excitement, my wife and I were too shocked to applaud. After the show some of the parents and people we don't even know came up to us and congratulated us for her performance, Phoebe liked their enthusiasm and the attention she was getting, but didn't seem to care much for them crowding around her, but she was still polite to them.

Then we went to talk to her instructor and coaches, her instructor said that in her 20+ years of training kids she hasn't ever seen another kid that was better than Phoebe, she said that because Phoebe has incorporated her gymnastics skills into her martial arts training that she has developed a unique style that her opponents aren't trained to defend against, so they can't prepare to fight a opponent like her.

Her coaches were even more excited about her performance, one of them said that she knows adult women that compete professionally, and women that do stunt work for movies that can't do what Phoebe did there. She also said that Phoebe executes her routine with the accuracy and precision that people train their whole lives for. Her other coach said that she thinks that Phoebe is already performing at the level of adults, and if she continues her training she could have a solid career in MMA when she is older.

They also said that her confidence only enhances her ability, and they think that she should start competing nationally. My wife asked about her aggressive approach and her apparent lack of concern for her opponents, and one of them laughed and asked if she was joking? Then she said that's what makes Phoebe the perfect student, she asserts herself and uses her ability to drop her opponents without giving them a chance to attack, which is exactly what you would want to do in a real life scenario. I guess you can't argue with that, I mean, that's why we signed them up for this.

During the ride home the kids didn't say much, but we could tell something was up with Sam. When we got home Phoebe put her trophy on the living room table, we asked her why she didn't want to bring it to her room, and she said she didn't want it, she doesn't need a trophy to tell her how good she is, so she said we could have it.

Later we went to talk with Sam, by the way, she also did well in the competition, but didn't seem to care. We knew something was bothering her so we asked and she said it's not fair that she's 3 years older but Phoebe is better than her. Of course, we gave her that standard talk about everybody being different, and that everybody has something that they can do better than others, so she just needs to stay on her own path. She felt better after the talk.

As for Phoebe, this has been interesting for her, and we have noticed that the constant praise is going to her head, she talks about becoming a fighter or doing movies, and she wants to go to nationals, but we still have to think about it. To make it worse, there were obviously people at the show recording with their phones, and some people posted clips on Youtube, so now she is a bit of a local celebrity, and I'm not sure she is ready for that. She already has a nickname, the cutest little fighting machine. I also know that some people were upset that a 7 year old won first place in a competition that included people twice her age, and I know there are going to be haters out there.

I've known for awhile that Phoebe hits hard, as one day I was training with her and she gave me a swift kick to my leg, and not only did it hurt, but I was actually limping around for a week, at first I thought it was just a good shot, but I know she can hit, and I feel bad for the kids she competes against.

I guess that's the thing that surprises us about this, because she's normally such a good kid, she gets good grades, and she hasn't ever gotten into fights or trouble at school, and she's the same way with her friends and at home. Honestly, she's the sweetest little girl you will ever meet, but there's something about competing that brings out a different side of her.

As you could imagine, my wife and I have mixed feelings about this, don't get me wrong, we are extremely proud of her, but at the same time we are extremely worried about her safety. I've mentioned before about how nervous we get when we watch her do gymnastics, so you know that we were scared watching her at the show, like I said, one wrong move and it's over. I know her teachers say that she is different than the other students, and that she could possibly turn this into a career, but we are honestly hoping that this is just a phase that she is going through, and that she will choose a safer career. We know she is still young, and regardless of what she chooses to do we will support her choice, and hope that she will be safe.

So, how is it going with you guys?

[Murfreesboro]

It does sound like she has an extraordinary talent, but I can also understand your mixed emotions.

My own family is not athletic, but I went through a phase where I was an intense figure skating fan. At that time (mid 80s to early 00s), the coaches said that puberty could really mess with their female athletes' abilities. That, basically, the boys couldn't do the big jumps before puberty, and the girls couldn't do them afterward. Obviously that's an exaggeration, but there is a reason why Asian women have dominated that sport so much of late. Each sport has its ideal body type, and girls are not in control of how their figures change. I guess if I had a child like Phoebe, I'd encourage her to enjoy her sport, but remind her that she's too young to box herself into one future. She's probably going to discover multiple passions as she grows up.

If she continues to excel and take her sport seriously, she could be in line for some impressive college scholarships. That's always nice.

BTW, is it OK for parents to post videos of children other than their own? That wasn't yet an issue when my kids were Phoebe's age.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

We are both very proud of her, and we have, and always will encourage her in any path she chooses. I know that she is still a young kid and that she is always changing her mind about what she wants to be when she grows up, and that's perfectly normal for a kid to do. By their nature, they observe the world and the many different possibilities that await them and they dream big. There is plenty of time for Phoebe to find her path, and we will be there with her for the ride. For now, we do enjoy her indecisiveness, it's fun watching her change her mind every week about the simple little decisions. I mean, you should watch her try to pick out a Halloween costume, she always comes home with a few of them. My wife says just wait until she starts buying shoes! I know it's a stereotypical joke about women, but it's true.

As you mentioned, if she does continue to expand her abilities at either her gymnastics or martial arts, or both, then she could have some very good opportunities come her way. Of course, we will now be paying closer attention to her classes and her progression in both fields, even if it means that we have to skip work to be there. We knew she was good at both activities, but didn't know that she was performing at that level.

Regarding posting videos, the world has certainly changed since we were younger, and we now live in a world where everybody has a cellphone, and uses it to record every moment of their lives. I mean, we were recording the event, as well as the conversation we had with her instructor and coaches, that's how I was able to quote what they said, I played it back and typed exactly what they said. But when we record something it's for family memories and not to post online.

But it's not that way with everybody else, and unfortunately, it's become perfectly acceptable, and legal, in our society to record any public event and post it online. My wife and I did try to find every video of the event online to watch them just to find out what kind of people were posting and commenting on them, because you don't know if some sicko was at the event, but from what we saw only a few parents actually posted, and most of the videos were posted by teenagers on their social media accounts.

As parents it does concern us, because we know that there are sickos out there, as well as people on social media that just post hateful comments, and we know that reading the comments can have a negative effect on people, regardless of their age, so we definitely limit our kids exposure to anything online. We still won't let them have any social media accounts yet, and probably won't until they are in their teens, and even then, we will still make sure they handle it responsibly.

[Murfreesboro]

As if parenting weren't already complicated enough, now folks have to worry about social media! That was starting to be an issue when my younger two were in high school, but it's just so much worse all the time, it seems. And starts at ever younger ages. You are wise to keep your girls away from it as long as possible.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Believe me, being a parent today is harder than it's ever been, I had that conversation with my mother a few years ago when discussing social media and my older nieces and nephews, and as you said, it's only getting worse. I can only imagine what it's going to be like for the kids in the next 20 years as technology and social media continue to evolve and become a dominant factor in our lives.

The kids today are constantly being bombarded by external influences and opinions, and you can argue that it was always that way with tv and people at school, but now there is social media and you have some uneducated moron on Youtube that has no idea what they are talking about giving life advice to anybody that watches their videos and doesn't know better.

From my own personal experience I think it's harder to raise girls today than boys, as girls in particular are targeted by media and corporations from a early age with the message that beauty is the only thing that matters. I'm sure that you have heard the stories on the news about 10 year old girls that are so obsessed with staying young that they are going to drugstores and shoplifting face cream because they have already been corrupted at that age into believing that they can't be accepted as beautiful in society without beauty products to maintain that youthful appearance. I've seen one of Sam's friends behave that way, and when we went to confront her mother about it we saw another desperate woman with lip filler and covered in beauty products trying to hold on to her youth, so you know where her kids are also getting the message. That's fine with us if people want to live that way, it's their choice, we just don't want our girls being influenced by that message.

The other day we we shopping for swimsuits for our trip, and the girls wanted to get 2 piece bikinis, and we said no, and Sam said that so-and-so's mother lets her wear a bikini, and my wife said that when they grow breasts they can wear a bikini, and I agreed with her, so they got traditional swimsuits. But it goes to show you that even at that age they think they have to show skin to get attention because that's what everybody does.

It's so much easier when they're babies.

[Murfreesboro]

I had two boys before I had my girl, and I was shocked at the swimsuits I saw for sale for little girls. For the boys, I could spend $5 for a pair of trunks, either abstract colorful patterns, or sharks, whatever. But for my preschool or kindergarten age girl, I was having to pay three times as much for suits that looked like a high school or college girl would wear them. Back then, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen had a line of age-appropriate swimsuits, and they were my salvation when I had a young daughter to outfit.

Not all two-piece suits are bikinis, and most girls prefer the two-piece suits so they don't have to undress to use the bathroom. My daughter got her first (and so far only) bikini when she was 18. I thought that was the right age for it.

When my daughter was seven, I signed her up for a ballet class. At the end of the year, when they had their recitals and got fancy costumes, they had individual photos made. I was taken aback when we went for her photos and found all the other children in full make up. I have nothing against make up at all, but it never crossed my mind that I was expected to slather it on my 7 yr old.

[Andybev01]

I applaud the two of you for going the nuclear family route, I couldn't see myself as a parent but somebody has to keep the tax base going.

I wad tangentially involved in raising a kid from year 8 until he went off to college.

Aside from the occasional teen drama he came out okay.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

It's funny, until you mentioned the bathroom issue, I can honestly say that it hasn't ever crossed my mind, but you're absolutely right about it. Most of the women in my family have always worn traditional swimsuits, and my wife is the same way as well. I guess it's easy if a guy has to go, but it must be inconvenient for women if they need to.

I know exactly what you mean about the little kids in makeup. When Phoebe does her gymnastics performances they cover the kids in makeup. They make them wear eyeshadow and lipstick, and then blast them with glitter, as if their appearance is going to affect their performance. But that's the way it's always been in this sport. It looks like they were shot with a makeup cannon, and it reminds me of that scene from The Simpsons.

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On a unrelated topic, I was looking at the front page of the forum and I noticed 2 interesting things, it says that the most users ever online was 8967 on Thu Apr 24, 2025 ... DAMN! those little Google bots bastards were busy! They must have archived the whole forum that day.

It also says that the newest member is Timothylox, I've seen that name on the front page for awhile now, apparently he joined the forum last summer, so that means that not a single new person has joined the forum in almost a whole year. I guess that it's just the few of us that will keep this place alive.

[Andybev01]

I'll go out on a greedy limb here and say that I actually prefer it this way.

No ads or pop-ups, no 'influencers' or motivational 'bros' with non-stop reasons why 'they' will never get them down, etc.

It's very much akin to a private club but anyone can join for free.

Like the Freemasons but with no rule book to memorize.

[Murfreesboro]

I do miss some of our regulars from previous years, but it is what it is. I'm always happy to see you all.

That Simpsons scene is so funny!

Re women's swimsuits, it's a trade off. Most two piece suits show more skin, even if they're not bikinis, and if you're milky white like me, slathering all that suntan lotion on, pretty much every hour, takes some of the fun out of the day. But women's suits aren't loose fitting like swim trunks, and getting those wet clingy things off to go to the bathroom is a pain, too. Right now I have a two piece that looks like a one piece, because the top covers the midriff, so I'm happy with it for as long as it lasts. The style is called a tankini, I guess, but those can be tricky, too. The more expensive ones are closer fitting, and a woman has to have a really flat tummy to pull them off. I got a cheap one at Walmart, so it doesn't fit so snugly, and I'm happy with it.

See how lucky guys are when it comes to swimwear?