He Thinks EVERYONE Hates Him!

[Midnight Witch]

My friend thinks everyone hates him. I told him it's not true, but he argues
with me. He believes a lot of people hate him for no reason.
I tell him, "It's not true. Lots of people like you." He doesn't listen.
He feels sad sometimes because he thinks no one likes him.
I keep telling him it's not true. "People won't hate you for no reason." He doesn't
listen. What should I do? Do you have any suggestions? I think he may be right. I don't know why. Thanks, Halloween lovers.
-Midnight Witch

[iHaunt]

My friend thinks everyone hates him. I told him it's not true, but he argues
with me. He believes a lot of people hate him for no reason.
I tell him, "It's not true. Lots of people like you." He doesn't listen.
He feels sad sometimes because he thinks no one likes him.
I keep telling him it's not true. "People won't hate you for no reason." He doesn't
listen. What should I do? Do you have any suggestions? I think he may be right. I don't know why. Thanks, Halloween lovers.
-Midnight Witch

So, what happened? What's going on with your friend??

[Midnight Witch]

My friend thinks everyone hates him. I told him it's not true, but he argues
with me. He believes a lot of people hate him for no reason.
I tell him, "It's not true. Lots of people like you." He doesn't listen.
He feels sad sometimes because he thinks no one likes him.
I keep telling him it's not true. "People won't hate you for no reason." He doesn't
listen. What should I do? Do you have any suggestions? I think he may be right. I don't know why. Thanks, Halloween lovers.
-Midnight Witch

So, what happened? What's going on with your friend??

Well, sometimes he feels like people treat him badly. He feels a lot of people are rude to him for no reason. Sometimes I see that it's true sometimes. He just feels hated. He feels like people like to bother him and pick on him, even though he doesn't talk to anyone.

[Spookymufu]

maybe he needs to body-slam someone like that kid in Australia.....

[Pumpkin_Man]

MidnightWitch, there could be some truth in what he's saying. I know that there was a time in my life that I thought everyone hated me, and the reason was that a lot of people did. If this friend of yours is the "brunt" of the class, or is picked on inordinately, or if he's allways the butt of cruel jokes, that could lead him to such a belief.

Another problem that he may encounter is an overbearing family at home. A lot of times, in an attempt to help a person or to inform a person, families, especialy parents or older siblings, will tend to be over critical. Mimicing, was often used in our home in order to "illustraite" what a "jerk" I or my brothers and sisters sound like, by our parents who were "just trying to help us" learn how to act.

When we moved to Arm Pit New Lenox Illinois, that happened to me a lot, in addition to school being a major drag. I spent 4 years of my life being able to count all my friends on the fingers of one hand. Also, as much as I hate to admit it, I brought some of it on myself. Thinkig that people hated me, I lashed out at them, blindly. That, in turn, made them angry and made me enemies.

So it could be one of the above factos or all of the above, including your friend's own attitude that could be contributing to his problem. If you want to help your friend, it's very, VERY important that you don't act disresepctful, or give an air of being disrespectful.

Finaly, the above posted is based on my own personal expereince, which is not totaly unique, but it must be remembered hat all people are different individuals, and what causes this person's thinking that everyone hates him may be different.

Mike

[witchy]

I would suggest a physiology doctor, he may just need someone to talk his stuff out with, it may help? Good luck!!

[Midnight Witch]

MidnightWitch, there could be some truth in what he's saying. I know that there was a time in my life that I thought everyone hated me, and the reason was that a lot of people did. If this friend of yours is the "brunt" of the class, or is picked on inordinately, or if he's allways the butt of cruel jokes, that could lead him to such a belief.

Another problem that he may encounter is an overbearing family at home. A lot of times, in an attempt to help a person or to inform a person, families, especialy parents or older siblings, will tend to be over critical. Mimicing, was often used in our home in order to "illustraite" what a "jerk" I or my brothers and sisters sound like, by our parents who were "just trying to help us" learn how to act.

When we moved to Arm Pit New Lenox Illinois, that happened to me a lot, in addition to school being a major drag. I spent 4 years of my life being able to count all my friends on the fingers of one hand. Also, as much as I hate to admit it, I brought some of it on myself. Thinkig that people hated me, I lashed out at them, blindly. That, in turn, made them angry and made me enemies.

So it could be one of the above factos or all of the above, including your friend's own attitude that could be contributing to his problem. If you want to help your friend, it's very, VERY important that you don't act disresepctful, or give an air of being disrespectful.

Finaly, the above posted is based on my own personal expereince, which is not totaly unique, but it must be remembered hat all people are different individuals, and what causes this person's thinking that everyone hates him may be different.

Mike

Those could be some reaons. But I don't see anything in his attitude. It's like people pick on him unfairly.

[jadewik]

If I were you, I'd tell him I'm offended that he's being so judgmental of me and reiterate the fact that I don't hate him. These sort of thoughts are selfish.... and really hit a nerve for me t'day. So...

... the smarter thing to do would be to get him into therapy and be a good friend.

Unfortunately, if that's the way he feels, you can do little to change his mind. Those type of statements are self destructive thinking and are meant to distance himself and isolate himself from those around him who he knows love and care for him. If you don't show that you care in a way that's reasonable under his irrational thinking, it further supports his claim that all hate him.... and, eventually gives him reason to walk down the path towards suicidal thoughts.

I'd be concerned. "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me" was the mantra for my sister about 10-years ago. Now, 10 years later, she's made a number of suicide attempts.... or should I say "practice runs" since they were half-hearted attempts.

Get thee to a councilor. One who takes this <deleted> seriously and doesn't blow it off as teenage angst.

... and I recommend reading the following (even though I haven't read it yet cuz I just heard about it 2-weeks ago):
"Why People Die by Suicide" by Thomas Joiner

... and possibly "Suicide" by Emile Durkheim and "Man Against Himself" by Karl Menninger

I know he's not suicidal... yet... and everyone has those sort of thoughts at some point in their life and has to deal with it... but I'd be seriously concerned if the attitude perpetuates and festers. This is where it all starts.

Right now, he needs someone who doesn't hate him to help him out and throw him a bone. Be a friend.

Cheers.

[iHaunt]

He should think positive than negative.

[Castle]

If people are constantly down because they think people hate them, it's gonna cause a loop effect: if you act all "oh woe is me" for no reason, I will look down on you. If he doesn't mature and grow a pair, tell him maybe he's right. When people continue to be down on themselves even after you've given them proof that there's no reason they should be, they're asking for attention.

[Midnight Witch]

If people are constantly down because they think people hate them, it's gonna cause a loop effect: if you act all "oh woe is me" for no reason, I will look down on you. If he doesn't mature and grow a pair, tell him maybe he's right. When people continue to be down on themselves even after you've given them proof that there's no reason they should be, they're asking for attention.

I will tell him that. He seems a bit better after I've been talking to him.

[MacPhantom]

Have you considered the distinct possibility that perhaps everyone DOES hate him?

[OctoberChill]

Have you considered the distinct possibility that perhaps everyone DOES hate him?

That was my first thought.

If he's always down and dragging everyone down with him I'd say that's a good possibility. I have a friend who's the same way, to the point where I just don't like talking to him sometimes. It's brutal. You can't ask him how he's doing without opening the flood gates of self-deprecation. It's selfish.

[Pumpkin_Man]

But don't forget, that bullied or abused people tend to think low of themselvs, so if you bully this person by experiminting with "reverse psychology," you could only be making the situation worse. I understand that it's hard to be around people who are allways dragging everyone else down with a negative mental attitude. I knewe a few people like that in my life, but bullying and criticism is never the answer.

Mike

[Ciuin]

I hate him. Please inform him of this.