Please, Don't Scare The Kids

[jadewik]

Church on Sunday had a poster advertising the Halloween party on Saturday evening, and in print under the day and time it read "Please do not scare the kids".

I have issues with that statement. Firstly, it's a HALLOWEEN party. The whole Halloween theme can be construed as "scary" depending on the child... and even then, different kids are scared by different things! While I never go out of my way to SCARE kids, I have it on good authority that I DO SCARE KIDS... without trying... and it's highly likely that will be the case on Saturday night.

So when my church tells me to not scare kids at a Halloween party... I have to say that I make no promises to NOT scare kids. I'm going to be as creepy as possible and if your kid gets scared, it's not my problem.

I said it in church and I'll say it again here-- LAME.

I say "lame" because it's people that write things like that that kill the fun for the older kids because those asking not to scare kids want to pander to the younger crowd (3-6 yrs)... which, I believe, makes it boring for older kids (7-10+ yrs)

I'm still going to the party. I'm still going to have fun, but I thought this was an interesting talking point-- what do you guys think about someone asking people to not scare kids? In this setting, it's appropriate... kinda... but what if the child gets scared anyway because they're too young for a particular setup?

[Andybev01]

Gee, I was under the impression that part of Halloween was to seek out a little scare.

[writerpatrick]

I can understand if they want to do a Halloween party that isn't scary for kids. It's obvious that they're having it more for the kids than for grown ups. Any one who organizes a party is allowed to determine what sort of party it is.

And it is, or appears to be, a church party. There are going to be limits. And the tolerance for what scares small kids is going to be different than what scares the older ones. I think what they want is for people not to intentionally scare kids.

[jadewik]

I think what they want is for people not to intentionally scare kids.

That's exactly how I'm taking it. Obviously, the church party is geared towards kids... but I was looking for a more general answer as in-- removed from this situation, I'm curious what you think (in general) about people asking you not to scare their kids at a party... say... your party, a party your kid is throwing home, a Home Haunt, etc.

[MacPhantom]

My yard haunt is pretty scary. When I was little, my house is the sort of house I was afraid to go up to when I was out trick or treating. Now I can't tone down the decor; it is what it is. But when younger children do come up trick or treating, I tone down the scariness, and always smile at them and try to make sure they don't get too freaked out.

The older kids and the teenagers, on the other hand, I try to scare the living cr@p out of!!!

[Pumpkin_Man]

I think they should have a seperate event for the younger kids (3 to 6) because no matter what you write on a poster, or how many times you admonish the older kids not to scare the little ones, they are going to do it anyway. Hey, it's the nature of Halloween to scare people and to get a little scared once in a while. That's what my 'haunted road trips' are all about, and all though I've never really encountered anything more scary then a stray dog or two, it's still fun.

Mike

[jadewik]

I suppose I should follow up on this.

Despite my husband getting the flu and my fog chiller computer fan not working due to a dead 9V battery.... it was super-fun. We set up our room in the second story hallway... and happened to set it up across from the "other scary room" (mine was one of two scary rooms). I had a blast watching kids come up the stairs, Trick-or-treat at all the rooms 'till they got to my room, go back down the stairs, go up the stairs to the other side of me and trick-or-treat on that side, avoiding my room and the room across from me. Hahaha!

Crazy-fun! =D

[metallica_87]

This is actually a really good topic.

I feel you have the right idea. I won't saying anything about actually going to church (As I don't go, as I don't believe in them, though I'm a very liberal Christian), though I feel that they can and have a fair reason to ask people not to. Yes it is VERY lame, and it does completely suck all the life out of the whole holiday for us older (12 till 90 crowd), lifelong halloween fans. Its like Disney telling the tween viewing crowd they could care less about them and ask that instead they let toddlers watch.

I feel that its mostly a childrens holiday, though schools and the like are trying to completely rid the world of it, but people forget that people grow up, and can still be fans of the holiday. The whole point besides being a day of fun and treats for kids, is to scare the <deleted> out of them for us older "kids". I think you shouldn't purposely scare anyone who doesn't want to be, or people whom you know would not be able to either physically or mentally handle it or recognize it as just a joke, but I feel having to censor your own self and holiday display for the sake of not scaring people is <deleted>, and ruining the good name of Halloween.

When I decorate my home/yard for halloween, I make my front display mildly scary, and let people know that it only will get worse and more scary as they continue on. They can make their own judgement and only have themselves to blame and the kids can decide if its too scary. Out of of maybe 200 kids from 5 and up, we only have 10 kids refuse to go through, and every grownup goes through a couple times, and give rave reviews.


Its up to the person, but will soon burry the holiday.

[Pumpkin_Man]

I definately agree with you about censorship, but I don't agree that Halloween is a "kids" day. True, that we cater to kids with Trick or Treat and school parties, but we do the semt thing on Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving. The primary reason why we tend to cater to the little ones on those days is to introdue them to a beloved tradition. Halloween is no exception. We introduce the kids to the fun of Halloween by dressing up in costumes, throwing parties for them and taking them Trick or Treating. They then grow up to pass that along to their kids, or enjoy the tradition of Halloween and Trick or Treat from the other side of the dore, like I did. I have as much fun handing out ToT candy as I did when I use to go ToTing. Adults celebrate Halloween, in some cases because of chilehood memories, in other cases because they just plain enjoy it, but for people like me, it's both reasons. Halloween is my favorite day of the year, because of the fun that I can have. So I would really hate to see the whold thing "burried," or done away with.

Mike

[metallica_87]

I definately agree with you about censorship, but I don't agree that Halloween is a "kids" day. True, that we cater to kids with Trick or Treat and school parties, but we do the semt thing on Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving. The primary reason why we tend to cater to the little ones on those days is to introdue them to a beloved tradition. Halloween is no exception. We introduce the kids to the fun of Halloween by dressing up in costumes, throwing parties for them and taking them Trick or Treating. They then grow up to pass that along to their kids, or enjoy the tradition of Halloween and Trick or Treat from the other side of the dore, like I did. I have as much fun handing out ToT candy as I did when I use to go ToTing. Adults celebrate Halloween, in some cases because of chilehood memories, in other cases because they just plain enjoy it, but for people like me, it's both reasons. Halloween is my favorite day of the year, because of the fun that I can have. So I would really hate to see the whold thing "burried," or done away with.

Mike

Well, let me say first off, that I say that its more or less a children's holiday because thats the way society's become. Like us 20 somethings and grownups are nolonger supposed to be able to celebrate a holiday or have any fun at all when one occurs. Its age discrimination at its best. I don't mean that it really truly is for children only, its for anyone whom loves the spirit and meaning and festivities that come with it, regardless of age. I'm a life long halloween fan and always will be, and will raise my yet to be had, future children to be the same. I won't stop decorating and dressing up, and will scare with my decoration displays till I'm no longer here.


Also, I don't know where you live, but schools in my area have completely discontinued having school halloween parties, and have not had one since I was in the 3rd grade (Around 1995 or so). In fact, they have even ceased christmas parties and birthday parties as well. The want no mention of the word party. or celebration as apparently they feel it takes away from the kids learning time. I feel with the worry of (though rightfully so) child predators, the overbearing religion pushing parents, and the overwhelmingly high standards they have set for kids in school these days, that there will be less interest in the holiday, and will change alot if not "revived" in some manner. I don't think Halloween will ever go away, too many people love it for that to happen, but you'll just see alot less people out that night if things keep going the way they are.

[Pumpkin_Man]

It's unfortunate, but a lot of school districts are doing away with any kind of celebration, but particularly Halloween. It seems that celebrating days like Halloween or Christmas are not 'politicaly correct.' They still have Halloween parties in the school in my town as far as I know, and there are a lot of public festivities for Halloween that the town itself does, but all in all, the holiday is pretty much enjoyed by everyone where I live. You could be right, though. There are a lot of people, however, who want to do away with it, and unfortunately your point about child predators is right on the money. I know that if I had kids of my own, I would not let them ToT alone.

As for Age Discrimination, that tends to go both ways. When I was young, I was expected to stay out of the way of my elders, was expected to respect their experience and their knowledge, and the older and more experienced were allways given the best business oportunities. Now a days, I have a bunch of 30 something business executives who think I'm too old. They say I'm "entitled," or "set in my ways," or "not with it." A good buddy of mine has been out of work since April of 2008. He has a few part time jobes driving a delivery truck, and delivering pizzas, but he can't find anything meaningful, or anything that even remotely pays a living because he's "too old."

Age discrimination is right. When you're young, they say you have to "pay your dues," and when you "pay your dues" for as long as I've paid them, and get to be 50, which is how old I am not, you are most likely to find yourself on the outside looking in.

All the more reason why I am going into business for myself.

Mike

[metallica_87]

It's unfortunate, but a lot of school districts are doing away with any kind of celebration, but particularly Halloween. It seems that celebrating days like Halloween or Christmas are not 'politicaly correct.' They still have Halloween parties in the school in my town as far as I know, and there are a lot of public festivities for Halloween that the town itself does, but all in all, the holiday is pretty much enjoyed by everyone where I live. You could be right, though. There are a lot of people, however, who want to do away with it, and unfortunately your point about child predators is right on the money. I know that if I had kids of my own, I would not let them ToT alone.

As for Age Discrimination, that tends to go both ways. When I was young, I was expected to stay out of the way of my elders, was expected to respect their experience and their knowledge, and the older and more experienced were allways given the best business oportunities. Now a days, I have a bunch of 30 something business executives who think I'm too old. They say I'm "entitled," or "set in my ways," or "not with it." A good buddy of mine has been out of work since April of 2008. He has a few part time jobes driving a delivery truck, and delivering pizzas, but he can't find anything meaningful, or anything that even remotely pays a living because he's "too old."

Age discrimination is right. When you're young, they say you have to "pay your dues," and when you "pay your dues" for as long as I've paid them, and get to be 50, which is how old I am not, you are most likely to find yourself on the outside looking in.

All the more reason why I am going into business for myself.

Mike

Mike, I think you took my age discrimination at it best comment out of context, but I guess it ok. What I really meant was, that its like people expect us grownups to act a certain way, and be way to dull and overbearing and overprotective of our kids and too strict with them. That for some reason us grown ups cant have some harmless fun and act like little kids for one night of the year aswell as the real kids. Sure the predator thing is absolutely warranted, and its a shame we have to live in such a world where such disgusting things exist, but thats neither here nor there. Its the religious intolerant, holier than thou, snobs that think us kids who grew up loving halloween, can't still feel the same when we grow up. That somehow we have to be bible thumping, preachy, overly strict, alcoholic, dullards to be an adult, and thats not right. I love halloween, have fun celebrating it, and will continue to, no matter how old I get. I feel the same way about horror movies.

Also, when I said buried, I didn't mean anyone is actively trying to get it banned or make it go away, I'm just saying that as society changes, so will the holiday, and when things are good, it will be out in full force, and when things aren't, there won't be as many people out and celebrating it, and it go to the back of the line for a while. Holidays are cyclical. I remember when christmas was the same way in the early 90's, when halloween was still king coming out of the 80's. It happens, just too bad it has to, especially for halloween.

[Pumpkin_Man]

Thanks for clearing some of that up. I do agree that adults are often expected to be "dullards" by younger people, and the enjoyment of horror movies and Hallween are often seen as pecularities in people my age. In fact, I have lder siblings who often say things like "Aren't you a little old for jack o'lanterns and "Dark Shadows." Aren't you a little old for plastic pumpkins and spooky lights?" or "You over do this Haloween thing, Mike," and "you have a Fixation on "Dark Shadows" and other horror movies. Why don't you watch some comedies or a news program once in a while." Of course, I watch plenty of news and documenteris in addition to my "Dark Shadows" video tapes and other horror movies, but I will say emphaticly that I am NOT too old to enjoy Hallowee. I am NOT too old to carve a jack o'lantern, and I am NOT too old for spooky lights and Halloween fun.

Now as far as various holidays go, from what I've seen, Christmas has allways been the biggest one for spending money, getting gifts and being generaly celebrated. Every year, you can't avoid hearing Christmas music booming from every Muzak system from New York to Los Angelous and all points inbetween. Every department store and shopping mall has a "Santa Clause" where parents can take their kids to get their pictures taken. Even most of the tv networks still have Christmas specials. You never hear halloween music on any store muzak system. You never see "Get your kid's portrait taken with the Great Pumpkin" anywhere. Don't get me wrong. Halloween is, and allways will be my favorite holiday, with the 4th of July at a close 2nd, but society in general is much bigger on Christmas.

Mike

[haleysmith]

I think that some halloween parties are scary not only for the kids but for me too, and I'm not the only one who believes so. It's because of the people dressed in zombies, dead or evil people...

[Pumpkin_Man]

Yes, but part of the Halloween fun is being scared. That's why I visit haunted places and "spook houses" during October. That's why I watchh orror movies, especialy "The Blair Witch Project." As for evil people, they can be scary at any time of the year, not just at Halloween, but all in all, Halloween is about good clean scary fun.

Mike