Boo?...

[Andybev01]

Where o where has everyone gone?

Did I miss the rapture?

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Well, if the rapture had happened then I'm sure that I would be sitting here by myself, but everyone else is still here, so I know it didn't happen yet.

As for why there is nobody on the forums, I can only speculate that most people are just using other forms of social media to stay in touch with each other these days. Also, some people just change over time, they don't have the same interests they did before, and they move on.

When Oct. gets here, I'm sure that some familiar faces will drop in, even if they don't stay until Halloween. I know we haven't heard from Mike in awhile, and he had mentioned his health issues, so I hope that he is doing well, and he will be back soon.

Until then, it looks like you and I are the only people here, unless, of course, you count the Google bots.

[Andybev01]

Is there anybody out there?

[Murfreesboro]

I'M HERE! I got blocked for some weird reason and now I'm back! Hooray! I've missed my Halloween friends! And here it is almost Walpurgisnacht, so we're turning the corner towards our favorite holiday!

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Welcome back Murfreesboro! I'm glad that you're still around, and I hope you stayed safe and healthy during the pandemic.

[Murfreesboro]

Yes, we were fine. I think maybe we got Covid before anyone knew what it was, Jan/Feb before the lockdowns. But we all got vaxxed anyway, and, so far, no worries on that front.

It's so good to be back here!

[Murfreesboro]

About Covid-- my two adult sons and I started a tradition of amazing road trips during 2020, the big pandemic year. My older son had intended to take me to Oberammergau that summer for the Passion Play they do every ten years (he lived in Germany in college and is fluent, goes back a lot). But then, because of the lockdowns, we couldn't go. So instead we did a Lewis and Clark road trip, and my second son came along. We detoured to Wyoming for the big parks there, but went all the way to the Oregon Coast.

The next year we vacationed on Lake Erie, very adventurous for this Mississippi native. We had a cabin at Geneva on the Lake, OH (older son lives in OH). This same older son has absolutely fallen in love with the Great Lakes, so last year we went to Michigan and did so much--Mackinac Island, Tahquamenon Falls on the UP, Whitefish Point Shipwreck Museum on the UP, a cruise past the Pictured Rocks on Lake Superior. A visit to MI Dogs on the UP, where we played with Alaskan Husky puppies and talked with a young woman who has completed both the Iditarod and Yukon Quest twice each. Then we scooted down to the Michigan Coast and caught a cherry harvest festival at Charlevoix. We hiked Sleeping Bear Dunes and swam in the lake. Finally, we visited Hartwick Pines State Park and saw 400 yr old trees as well as a reconstructed lumber camp. Our vacation plans this yr are not finalized yet, but I think we're going to hit a family reunion in Austin, TX, and then drive to San Antonio, New Orleans, Biloxi, Natchez, and follow the Trace back up to Nashville.

It had been decades since my childhood and teenage road trips with family, so I am really enjoying this rediscovery of our great, astonishingly diverse country. And it wouldn't have happened without the pandemic. When the whole world was in lockdown, we put 10,840 miles on a rental car. It was fabulous.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Those road trips sound awesome! You really got to visit a lot of interesting places. It's something that I want to do with my family eventually, maybe when the kids are older. I think the only good thing about the pandemic is that it gave people the opportunity to spend more time with their families.

We played it safe and didn't travel, so we didn't get to visit extended family the first Christmas during the pandemic, but since then we have visited relatives that lived close to us like my mother. I'm thankful that she was here for the holidays with her grandkids.

I believe you are the same age as my mother, Murfreesboro, at least that is what I guess based on the story you posted in the Moon landing anniversary thread a few years ago. By the way, now that you're back, I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story in that thread, I always appreciate hearing the stories from people about their experiences during historical events.

[Murfreesboro]

It's certainly possible. You may be a little older than my kids, because I had them late (was 42 with my daughter, who is the youngest). My kids have never married or had kids, so I am getting impatient for the grand babies. I want to see them while I am still functioning!

One bad thing about the pandemic for us was the way it immobilized the younger generation of our family, I mean in terms of socializing, career building, etc. Everyone seemed to get caught in a holding pattern. I think it was very damaging for those who were in the building years of their lives. I see them all now trying to get back some momentum, but it's difficult.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Well, my mother was born in 1955, and I was born in 1981, so I'm 42 this year. I'm looking forward to being a grandparent one day, my kids are both under 10 right now so I've got a long wait ahead of me, but I'm in no rush, I just want to enjoy the time I have with them now. But I do miss having a baby around the house though.

I absolutely agree with you about how the pandemic negatively affected the younger generation. It was hard trying to explain to my girls that they couldn't play with their friends or go out anywhere. My youngest was 3 at the height of the pandemic, and no matter what we told her, she just didn't understand why things were different. Which is perfectly understandable because she was so young.

I own a restaurant, and a bakery next door, when the lockdown happened I had over 20 employees that I had to let go because we couldn't have customers dine in, most of the servers were younger, in their late teens to early 20s, and I felt terrible that I had to let them go. I know it was hard for them, it was the first job for most of them, and they were just getting started in the world only to be stopped in their tracks. I stayed in touch with some of them, and I tried to help out when I could.

It was only my wife and myself, and we had 2 employees still working in the kitchen because we were allowed to do delivery orders. Honestly, if there weren't services like Uber Eats, DoorDash, and Grubhub, I don't know if the restaurant would have survived the pandemic. The good thing is that I own the building, so if it got really bad and I had to close the restaurant I could have sold the building to stay afloat. But thankfully that didn't happen, and we are still here, I was able to re·hire most of the kids that were working for me, and business is actually better now than before the pandemic.

[Murfreesboro]

Oh, how fortunate that your restaurant was able to weather the lockdowns! That industry was so hard hit. My second son works at a grocery that supplies restaurants and food trucks, so he is well acquainted with the local business owners in that industry. Some of them didn't make it through. Things have picked up now, though. What type of food do y'all serve?

I'm a little older than your mom because I was a '54 baby. However, I was born so late in Dec that it might as well have been '55. I was married in '81, your birth year, but we delayed having kids for a few years. I stayed in school forever, got a PhD in English, taught in various colleges for a while. I was part of that generation of women who were brainwashed into thinking that careers mattered more than motherhood. Then, in my mid-thirties, I decided I'd better have at least one child. When he was born, it was like the kaleidoscope turned, and I never saw anything the same way again. I wondered why I hadn't had a dozen kids. I was blessed to be able to have three after waiting so long to start. Even now, as I reflect on my life, the only real regret I have is that I didn't have more of them.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Without people like your son, and the industry he works in, I know that many restaurants across the country would have closed down with no new supply coming in. We depended on grocery stores and local farmers markets to still get fresh produce and meat delivered every week and without them I know we would not have survived, so I'm thankful for those people.

Originally the restaurant started out as fine dining when it opened in the 60s, but then in the 80s the original owner turned it into a family dining restaurant, and that's the way it still is to this day. I started working here when I was 19, and I worked my way up to the top managerial position, and when the owner decided to retire in 2010 I bought the business and building. We upgraded the interior and the kitchen equipment, but I kept the original name because I wanted to honor my old boss, and it was already established in the community.

As for what we serve, it's similar to Golden Corral or Cracker Barrel, so we have the classic dishes you would expect, as well as a few of our own specialties. We also have one of those insane platter challenges where if you can finish the whole meal then you get it free. So far only one person has beat it, and he was a skinny little British guy! My wife runs the bakery, and she specializes in cakes and pastries, as well as various other yummy, sugary baked goods that I shouldn't be eating.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting more kids, I have 2 girls and I love them more than any words could ever express, but I've always wanted a son. After our last baby was born my wife decided that she wasn't going to have any more children, and since it's her body, and women are the ones that go through pain to bring life into this world, I respect her decision. Who knows? She might change her mind later on, but even if she doesn't, I have a few nephews that I can still have fun with, and maybe I'll get a grandson one day.

I'm glad that you were able to start your family when you did, and that you got to experience motherhood. I know so many people, both men and women, that have told me that they put their careers first and they didn't ever slow down to start their families and now they regret it. Sorry for the long post, it's late and I'm the only one awake.

[Murfreesboro]

What a great story of working your way up from the ground floor to business owner, and expanding your business substantially! I'm so glad to know the pandemic did not take that away from you. I love family style restaurants, and bakeries, too. Yummy!

I understand your wish for a child of your own gender. If I had had a son and a daughter right off the bat, I'd have stopped at two. But in my case I really, really wanted a girl. My husband, who was one of two himself, had always said he wanted two, so he was fine with the two boys. As in your family, he left that decision to me. My friends and extended family were not supportive because I'd had serious complications with the boys (umbilical cord stuff, a prolapsed cord with #1, necessitating emergency caesarians) so when I said I wanted a third, they were like, "No, you don't." But I said to myself that when I was 65 and reviewing my life (it sounded far away then!), I would think, "Well, you always said you wanted a girl, but I guess you didn't want one enough, because you didn't try for one." So I went for it, and, long story short, at 42, I had her.

My BIL I think really hoped for a boy, but they had bad fortune with babies. Their first, a girl, was full term but stillborn, probably also a cord accident (they never really knew what happened to her; she died in the womb a few days before her due date). Thank God they had a second, healthy daughter a short time later, but she turned out to he their only child. My SIL took an infection in the hospital at delivery that left her unable to have more. It was a terrible blow to them, but their surviving daughter has been nothing but a joy to them. As a girl she was really into ballet, and her dad became such a devoted girl dad, running the lights at her shows, etc. Now she is married and has a daughter of her own, and lives not far from her parents. So it all worked out.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

I'm glad that your family members were able to have the baby that they wanted, and that they are happy grandparents now. I know there are so many couples in the world that want to have kids, but for various reasons can't, some of them adopt, but some of them just end up living without kids. Of course, there are people that don't want kids, and that's their right to choose, but it always seems like they are the ones that end up having kids even though they didn't want a family. Some people have to fight for it, while it comes naturally to others.

When it comes to having kids, you have a 50/50 shot if it's a boy or girl, so I'm happy that you got the girl that you wanted. It makes me wonder though, if you had another boy, would you have tried again after that to have a girl?

Believe me, I know exactly what it's like to be a girl dad, I find myself in situations and doing things that I didn't ever, not for a single second, think I would be doing. Some of it I don't mind, sometimes I even have fun, but when they want to braid my hair or beard, or I go to the hardware store and I have pink glitter nail polish on my hands and everyone stares at me, then I think... what have I gotten myself into? But I know it makes my girls happy so that's the only thing that matters. For the record, I'm a straight male, and I'm comfortable with my masculinity so I don't mind rocking pink for my girls.

On a side note, you mentioned that the reason you haven't been posting is because you couldn't sign into the website, I don't think that Chris aka HalloweenCom has posted here in almost 2 years so I don't know if he's still around, or who you would report any issues to, but it got me thinking that maybe that's the reason we haven't heard from Mike in awhile. I remember awhile ago he mentioned that he was having issues logging into the website. It might also explain why there hasn't been any new blood posting here, since new members must have their first few posts approved, but if nobody is here to approve them that means no new members. It's just a thought.

[Murfreesboro]

Well, that's a thought, about the log-in confusion. Perhaps it would be worth investigating. However, I'm such a techno-troglodyte that I really think the problem was on my end. I kept typing the wrong password, I guess (think?) until it locked me out and I was supposed to go through some process involving email. However, I've forgotten my email password, too, so I haven't been able to get into that for a couple of years ( I use my husband's when I have to). And things are complicated by my having to use my phone for everything, because we lost internet access several years ago. So I'm dealing with itty bitty screens and a device that doesn't seem as flexible to me as my old desktop was. Every once in a while I'd come back here and try to log in, but the site always remembered that I had to go through that email process. Then, the other day, for some reason I don't understand, it suddenly forgot my issues, and I was able to post again. Now I have it set to log in automatically!

About the other question, would I have tried again? No, it was a last ditch effort. I debated for a while what to do. My mother had just died and left me a little money, so I considered using it to adopt a girl from China as some of my friends had done. But then I considered that my mother would have wanted the money to benefit her own grandsons, so I held onto it for their college someday. Then my Dr believed I'd need all these expensive fertility treatments, and I decided against those, too. I remember going out into my backyard one night and praying to the stars, "Give me a healthy, normal girl, and I won't ask you for another child." Three mos later, to the astonishment of everyone, I was pregnant. I never took any test to know the gender of the baby. I knew I'd love another little boy, if that's what it turned out to be. When we found out at her birth that she was indeed a daughter, I think everyone who knew us was amazed that it had worked out as I'd hoped. I think of her as the most direct answer to a prayer I ever got. I'd just been through a really rough time with my mother's death and the theft of much of her property down in Mississippi (the woman I'd trusted to house sit, a neighbor from the next block I'd known slightly in high school, turned out to be a con artist who robbed me blind before she was apprehended). I'm an only child and my father died when I was 7, so there was not much family to help, no one in Mississippi. My daughter somehow reassured me that in spite of everything, God still loved me.

I know there are a great many other people who pray just as fervently for a child and don't get one, so I don't know why my prayer was answered as I'd hoped. I only know that, for me, it worked out.

My BIL was/is like you, a guy's guy who worked lots with Boy Scouts before his daughter was born and even in her early childhood. I believe he has taken his SIL into his heart as the son he didn't have. They appear to be pretty close. And I don't know if our neice plans to have more children. She could still produce a grandson for him someday.

It's hard to explain in words, but I do think there is a companionship people can have with someone of their own gender that's different from the relationship with the opposite-gender child. It doesn't mean you love them any less passionately. It's just a different lens somehow. I have a great relationship with my sons and have had lots of good times with them. I have also learned from them. I grew up in a female-dominated environment, so men were very "other" to me in my youth. My husband and boys expanded my understanding of people.