Rabbit School
Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 8:06 am
Rabbit School, by Will Jacques
Dear Mama,
Well, here I am. I have made it to this school all by myself and it weren’t easy. I thought that train ride would never end, but it did and now I am here. We was met at the station by this big old truck and we had to ride in the back the whole way. It was kind of weird mashing up in that little cage, but the school wasn’t far and we was there real soon. It was hot though and this little prissy girl got all whiney. I told her to shut the hell up and she didn’t.
Right away, we was busted up into little groups. They called them “Warrens.†There was twelve of us in our warren and we all got fitted for our rabbit suits. We all got two suits, just the same. Mine were mostly white with black splotches. The ears was pink though and I didn’t like them. I wanted the ones with brown ears, but you got to take the ones they give you. Them costumes ain’t the worst goddamn part neither. You got to wear this stupid rubber nose and it makes it seem like you can’t breathe good. One kid had a cold and got his full of snot. He had to wear it still and he kept emptying it out on his pants leg. It was so gross!
I didn’t want no part of it, but they took our other clothes and burned them.
We got to hop everywhere we go. I do it, but when no-one ain’t looking, I try and walk some too. Let me tell you, that hopping sucks. It ain’t bad at first, but after a couple of days it sucks and that’s all there is to it.
We had the first day of school and it was weird. We got this one teacher called Mr. Hutch. He don’t act right and he’s got all these pictures of rabbits blown up on his wall. There’s this one picture that has a rabbit with his mouth huge yawning open. Mr. Hutch thinks that the picture is singing to him. He sang it this love song in a really bad voice and it went on an on.
That’s when we had to learn about how to nurture baby rabbits. They all got names and we got to call them Mr. and Mrs. So and so. It gets hard remembering all their names and who their parents are, but that’s the part you got to work at. Mr. Hutch says that every one of them little sons of bitches has a story and we got to learn them all. That’s what this here special program was designed for.
You got to take care of them little rabbits real careful-like and that means moving them all the time. Mr. Hutch says we gotta move them just like their mother does and that means carrying them around in your mouth. It ain’t easy with the hopping and all and their little hairs all getting down your throat. Let me tell you, you will throw-up. I killed one too by accident. It was getting hard and I was so tired. We each had to hop across the room twenty times with a rabbit in your mouth. I bit down too hard on it and I could tell it was killed cause of the way it jerked around.
I didn’t get caught though. I spit it out real quick on the other side and I thought I would get caught and all, but then I looked and there was all kinds of dead rabbits and throw-up and all so it didn’t get noticed.
Dear Mama,
Well, here I am. I have made it to this school all by myself and it weren’t easy. I thought that train ride would never end, but it did and now I am here. We was met at the station by this big old truck and we had to ride in the back the whole way. It was kind of weird mashing up in that little cage, but the school wasn’t far and we was there real soon. It was hot though and this little prissy girl got all whiney. I told her to shut the hell up and she didn’t.
Right away, we was busted up into little groups. They called them “Warrens.†There was twelve of us in our warren and we all got fitted for our rabbit suits. We all got two suits, just the same. Mine were mostly white with black splotches. The ears was pink though and I didn’t like them. I wanted the ones with brown ears, but you got to take the ones they give you. Them costumes ain’t the worst goddamn part neither. You got to wear this stupid rubber nose and it makes it seem like you can’t breathe good. One kid had a cold and got his full of snot. He had to wear it still and he kept emptying it out on his pants leg. It was so gross!
I didn’t want no part of it, but they took our other clothes and burned them.
We got to hop everywhere we go. I do it, but when no-one ain’t looking, I try and walk some too. Let me tell you, that hopping sucks. It ain’t bad at first, but after a couple of days it sucks and that’s all there is to it.
We had the first day of school and it was weird. We got this one teacher called Mr. Hutch. He don’t act right and he’s got all these pictures of rabbits blown up on his wall. There’s this one picture that has a rabbit with his mouth huge yawning open. Mr. Hutch thinks that the picture is singing to him. He sang it this love song in a really bad voice and it went on an on.
That’s when we had to learn about how to nurture baby rabbits. They all got names and we got to call them Mr. and Mrs. So and so. It gets hard remembering all their names and who their parents are, but that’s the part you got to work at. Mr. Hutch says that every one of them little sons of bitches has a story and we got to learn them all. That’s what this here special program was designed for.
You got to take care of them little rabbits real careful-like and that means moving them all the time. Mr. Hutch says we gotta move them just like their mother does and that means carrying them around in your mouth. It ain’t easy with the hopping and all and their little hairs all getting down your throat. Let me tell you, you will throw-up. I killed one too by accident. It was getting hard and I was so tired. We each had to hop across the room twenty times with a rabbit in your mouth. I bit down too hard on it and I could tell it was killed cause of the way it jerked around.
I didn’t get caught though. I spit it out real quick on the other side and I thought I would get caught and all, but then I looked and there was all kinds of dead rabbits and throw-up and all so it didn’t get noticed.
