Is it REALLY that strange...?

[DemonSlayerMau]

...For a woman to not like babies? I don't mind kids passed the baby stage but when they're babies...ugh.
They cry, they whine, they wet their pants, and I personally think they're ugly. And they're completely dependent on other people.
I don't understand why people think they're so cute or so great. And what makes one baby different from another? They all look the same to me. It's not until they get older that you can start to distinguish them from the crowd.
I hope I don't offend anyone. I don't have anything against people who want babies, but they just aren't for me. My grandma thinks I'm strange that I don't like them.
Am I strange?

[Nostalgiascape]

It's not a bad thing. It's just different. You may try to have your estrogen levels checked, I guess. But in general it's just different because many if not most women have this need to love and nurture a child. And I only say have your chem levels checked because testosterone is what makes a man a man, and in most cases behave and react like a man. And the same goes for estrogen in women.

[jadewik]

If there's something wrong with that, then I need my head checked. I even have a shirt that says "I Hate Babies". My husband bought it for me as a joke, and it was VERY effective at getting passed up for games of "pass the baby"-- where people try to get you to hold a child you don't want to hold.... and I use negative verbage when I talk about baby related materials. It sounds worse than it is--- it has turned into a running joke between me and my husband... and close friends and family. I tend to go the other extreme for shock value to express how the baby-hungry people appear in my mind.

What I figure it is... is that you're just not ready to have a kid-- you're not driven by your hormones or a co-dependent relationship or a need for companionship or for something to love you. That, or (as in my case) the lack of good parenting (or parenting at all) in today's society turns you off to the little brats. Logically, I've combated the good parenting thing with... eventually someone needs to balance out the exponential rate of moron expansion.

The older I get, the more the idea of spawning becomes palatable... before, it was "I HATE KIDS. What did they do to get so much positive attention? Can't people see what hellions they'll be in a couple years?" as I cringed over fawning, baby-hungry, estrogen loaded women. Now, it's... "Babies? Hmmm... Nah." It helps being around good kids with parents who discipline their kids... and I think two of my nephews are simply darling (because they're disciplined).

Everyone is different. There is no "normal"... just trends. Normal is what you make it.

[DemonSlayerMau]

There's many different reasons why I could not care for babies.
I doubt it's a lack of Estrogen...especially when I get PMS.
I love kittens. I have a boyfriend, I have that need/desire for companionship...just not from an offspring.
I don't think there's any one reason why I don't like babies. I do actually like kids...once they are passed that baby stage.
A friend of mine once suggested that it wasn't the baby I disliked, but what they represent. I've mentioned before that I was a bit tomboyish. I always admired women who were strong, and independent, and not the typical "damsel in distress." I think it's similiar to how guys like to see tough guys beat up on evil villians...except I like seeing the girl be the hero.
It always seemed like women had to be associated with bearing and caring for young. Women are supposed to be submissive. Women are supposed to be weaker.
That just isn't me, I feel like I have this need to be strong and independent. Masculinity is associated with a positive for me...while feminity represents something negative with me. It represents weakness.
Granted, I have a compassionate and caring side to me. I reject the steriotypes and the gender roles. I feel if men want to have feminine attributes, let them. Same with women who want to be tough. And I honestly wish people would stop giving these people the "gay" label, because it has nothing to do with what gender your attracted to. And I'm attracted to men. I honestly admire the male gender. I think I'm even jealous of men because they don't have to be associated with these things, they are expected to be strong, they are expected to be dominate.
I'm not completely unfeminine. I doubt I would have a high pitched cutsey voice when I talk to my cats if I did.
But it's more than that. Babies are fragile, helpless, ugly, they cry and they're annoying. And not to mention...when they develop in the womb they are akin to a parasite. I appoligize if I offend anyone. But when it comes right down to it a developing fetus is completely dependent on the mother for nourishment and nutrients. Not only that, but dependent on the mother to excrete wastes. (I've studied this in Human Biology) Women don't recieve anything in return. Except morning sickness, bizarre cravings, weight gain, fatique...and that...shall we say "painful" ending to pregnancy at birth?
I never understood why women liked babies so much when it's so painful to have them!
And then they're still helpless. Then you have to start changing their diapers and feeding them and being "oh so gentle you better not drop them."
But anyway. Sorry for the rant.
I do think there's one other reason why I don't want babies. Overpopulation. It just wouldn't be fair to all the other children out there that need homes and don't have them. And like I said before...I like kids. I've even considered adopting a child that's already passed the baby stage. But chances are, I'll probably just adopt a bunch of cats.
You are quite right though Jadewik, there is no real "normal." And might I ask where you got that lovely "I hate babies' tee shirt? I shall have to invest in one.

[Andybev01]

As long as you are honest with yourself you will know when or, if, babies are part of your future.

I'm not parent material at all, and I think if I had followed the herd, and settled down, and had a family, it would have been another Manson family...

[Nostalgiascape]

The estrogen theory was just that, one avenue for exploration. You know yourself better than us, yet you did ask the question of us. And people with low estrogen still have PMS. My sister suffers from estrogen deficiency she will complain on occasion when she suffers the curse, if its really bad.

Some women just aren't baby lovers man. I don't know. Takes all kinds of unique people to make the world wobble.

Look at me. Im the opposite. I am a man who fawns over babies and toddlers. Love em, love em. And it hits me hard when bad things happen to them and I read about it in the news. And that creates a fear in me that dictates that I am too afraid for a child, to help bring one into this dangerous friggin world.

[DemonSlayerMau]

Well, it's not as ironic as you may think. One of my best friends is a guy that is like a brother to me. He just loves babies. But what's really funny is that he shaves his head and dresses like a biker...or on some occasions he's even gone to church dressed like a pirate!
The estrogen theory is a possibility, I'm not ruling it out. I'd have to look at more of the symptoms of it, but even if it was the case, I like how I am and I don't want to change it.
Granted, as much as I dislike babies I wouldn't put one in danger. But because I do have a bad temper sometimes I try to avoid babies as much as I can, and would prefer to not have any.
I wonder if low progesterone would have anything to do with it. That's another feminine hormone and looking at the symptoms it would make more sense than low estrogen.

[Nostalgiascape]

If you like how you are I wouldn't worry bout it too much. Except that low hormone production does negatively affect the body in a number of ways, not even thinking about kids. Nothing bad about a annual check up and blood panel. Even though now i'm talking off topic, lol.

[DemonSlayerMau]

Hey I appreciate the concern. Unfortunately I won't be able to go to any check ups until I get a decent job and insurance. If I get sick it's a different story, especially if I get strep again as bad as I did back in '06. And what sucked was it was around the time of my birthday too.

[Pumpkin_Man]

That does suck. I've allways been lucky when I was a Kid. I was NEVER sick onmy Birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas or the 4th of July. I was very prone to Migrane Headaches, too because of an eye condition. But by some miracle, I never suffered a migrane or even a slight cold at any of those times. I did get sick during a vacation once, but never on an important day.

Mike

[Nostalgiascape]

I once had the bug on Christmas Eve, but by Christmas it was gone.

[DemonSlayerMau]

Actually, I think I had a bug on Easter once. My mom had to take me to Urgent care at the hospital. I was just a little kid back then. But kids get sick a lot.

[Pumpkin_Man]

There were times in my life when havign a baby or babies around were annoying. I remember when I had to 'tip toe' around the house, and allways having to whisper because the baby was sleeping. The fetted diapers in the waste baskets, and the sight of baby food were not something that I would classify as "pleasant," either. I loved my little ones and still do, but when I was young, and had little or no choice about what goes on in my living space, it often came down to where I would hang out at the movie theatre or Roller Rink a lot so I could talk without having to whisper. I also would eat my dinnter in front of the basement television so I would not have to watch the babies eat.

Mike

[jadewik]

I've mentioned before that I was a bit tomboyish. I always admired women who were strong, and independent, and not the typical "damsel in distress." I think it's similar to how guys like to see tough guys beat up on evil villains...except I like seeing the girl be the hero.

Me too. Me too. Actually, we'd probably get along well. I've never been "conventional". Shoot, I'm an engineer... and I make more money than my husband does (though he IS still in school....) And in high school I was the first female pole-vaulter... which is strange because I still enjoy traditional values in a home... not really the gender/work roles, but how the fellow presides over the home and all that jazz. It's strange, but *shrug*...

It always seemed like women had to be associated with bearing and caring for young. Women are supposed to be submissive. Women are supposed to be weaker....That just isn't me, I feel like I have this need to be strong and independent.

Not all women are submissive. There are fantastic women (some are a little nutty too) in history... like Carrie A. Nation, Marie Curie, Queens Elizabeth and Victoria, and Helen Keller (who was deaf, blind and dumb... and STILL outspoken). Not all women are submissive and meek. Not all women are outspoken and brazen. Everyone is different. Everyone has different tastes.

But it's more than that. Babies are fragile, helpless, ugly, they cry and they're annoying.

This made me laugh... though you forgot they constantly stink. (Among other things... hehe.) Actually, the big draw with babies is the attachment that's developed as you carry the kid for 9-months. I recently watched my tough-as-nails, independent sister-in-law (SIL) go through the whole spiel. She was never against babies... but she wasn't fawning over them either. Some of what she said made sense, so I can see the connection... It's just one of those "when the time is right" things.... eventually, the idea of "popping a parasite" (one of my slang phrases) may warm up to you. In the meantime, the anti-kid attitude is great BC. Keeps your head on straight when you start thinking about taking the plunge.

And might I ask where you got that lovely "I hate babies' tee shirt? I shall have to invest in one.

Ask away. It's actually a teeshirt from Red vs Blue... the line is from a season 3 episode where Caboose is trying to think evil thoughts to help himself become more badass... so he says "My name is Michael J. Caboose and I hate babies!"

You can find the shirt for sale here:
http://www.roosterteethstore.com/rt0044.html

[Pumpkin_Man]

I prefer an I LOVE BABIES with ONIONS AND CARROOTS' T Shirt. narf narf

Mike