"You know you're a hauntaholic when..."
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2009 11:56 pm
.
you're pestered all year by kids who want to know what the
theme for THIS year is?
you find yourself thinking that one corpse is more attractive
than another?
you get more excited over a fog machine than a dirty movie?
you have more help at your haunt than necessary for an
old-fashioned barn raising?
you have more than ten sound effect CD's?
you have names for the skeletons in your closet?
you play spooky music all year round?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your entire wedding?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse for the
entire history of your marriage?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse's
anniversary?
you try to make Fido look like a hellhound every Halloween?
your neighbors look slantways at you and avoid you a full month
before Halloween?
your shed, basement, & attic contain nothing but Halloween
props?
the only candelabra you own is in a spider web motif?
there a monster under your bed because your attic/basement/
shed is full?
your electric bill higher in October than in July?
the family dog ignores masked individuals breaking into your
house?
you see haunt possibilities with every road kill you cause....
( oh, I mean)...see
instead of giving your child a cat or dog did you give them a
gargoyle to play with?
your neighbors are asked about Halloween, do they roll their
eyes and point at your house?
the guy at the paint counter at the hardware store sees you
coming and starts stacking gallon cans of flat black on the
counter.
you go to "Goth Night" at a local club, armed with a pocketful of
"volunteer recruitment" flyers.
you can't watch a horror movie without jotting down ideas every
two minutes.
you're nervous about taking rolls of film in to be developed, for
fear the police might show up at your house looking for the
corpses that the developer clued them in to.
you have a room in your house reserved for special props/
projects, and won't allow anyone in there because it'll "spoil
the Halloween surprise!"
you scare other family members or neighbors on a regular basis,
often without meaning to.
your ideal pet would be a black cat, a tarantula, a snake, a bat,
or a rat.
people refuse to walk into your house at night.
people refuse to walk into your house in broad daylight!
you have a customized license plate that has something to do
with Halloween.
you start actually setting up your yard haunt in August...
you still aren't finished on Halloween, but it'll do. Gotta start
earlier next year...
you cannot throw ANYTHING away that could even CONCEIVABLY
be used to scare someone. (Even if you don't know how yet...)
you judge homes by how well a haunt could be set up in them.
the boys in the white coats are afraid to come in your yard
your children turn their bedroom into a giant spider web by
stringing yarn everywhere and pretend to attack when you get
tangled in it.
your 4 year old announces to the class that he/she wants to
be a Vampire when he/she grows up.
your toddler's first word is "REDRUM"
the Kids hiss at each other and make claws with their hands
when they fight.
it's not uncommon to see "Barbi" hanging in a Noose in your
daughters room.
your teenageer wants his/her "own" coffin....
"Addams Family" books are the most commonly read children's
books laying around.
you still think your kids are well adjusted....
you're pestered all year by kids who want to know what the
theme for THIS year is?
you find yourself thinking that one corpse is more attractive
than another?
you get more excited over a fog machine than a dirty movie?
you have more help at your haunt than necessary for an
old-fashioned barn raising?
you have more than ten sound effect CD's?
you have names for the skeletons in your closet?
you play spooky music all year round?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your entire wedding?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse for the
entire history of your marriage?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse's
anniversary?
you try to make Fido look like a hellhound every Halloween?
your neighbors look slantways at you and avoid you a full month
before Halloween?
your shed, basement, & attic contain nothing but Halloween
props?
the only candelabra you own is in a spider web motif?
there a monster under your bed because your attic/basement/
shed is full?
your electric bill higher in October than in July?
the family dog ignores masked individuals breaking into your
house?
you see haunt possibilities with every road kill you cause....
( oh, I mean)...see
instead of giving your child a cat or dog did you give them a
gargoyle to play with?
your neighbors are asked about Halloween, do they roll their
eyes and point at your house?
the guy at the paint counter at the hardware store sees you
coming and starts stacking gallon cans of flat black on the
counter.
you go to "Goth Night" at a local club, armed with a pocketful of
"volunteer recruitment" flyers.
you can't watch a horror movie without jotting down ideas every
two minutes.
you're nervous about taking rolls of film in to be developed, for
fear the police might show up at your house looking for the
corpses that the developer clued them in to.
you have a room in your house reserved for special props/
projects, and won't allow anyone in there because it'll "spoil
the Halloween surprise!"
you scare other family members or neighbors on a regular basis,
often without meaning to.
your ideal pet would be a black cat, a tarantula, a snake, a bat,
or a rat.
people refuse to walk into your house at night.
people refuse to walk into your house in broad daylight!
you have a customized license plate that has something to do
with Halloween.
you start actually setting up your yard haunt in August...
you still aren't finished on Halloween, but it'll do. Gotta start
earlier next year...
you cannot throw ANYTHING away that could even CONCEIVABLY
be used to scare someone. (Even if you don't know how yet...)
you judge homes by how well a haunt could be set up in them.
the boys in the white coats are afraid to come in your yard
your children turn their bedroom into a giant spider web by
stringing yarn everywhere and pretend to attack when you get
tangled in it.
your 4 year old announces to the class that he/she wants to
be a Vampire when he/she grows up.
your toddler's first word is "REDRUM"
the Kids hiss at each other and make claws with their hands
when they fight.
it's not uncommon to see "Barbi" hanging in a Noose in your
daughters room.
your teenageer wants his/her "own" coffin....
"Addams Family" books are the most commonly read children's
books laying around.
you still think your kids are well adjusted....