Deceased Loved Ones in Dreams

[Pumpkin_Man]

Hi Folks:

A while back, we had a discussion on this message board about whether or not our pets go to Heaven or have souls. I do think there is some truth to that, and I'll explain why, bur first of all, I want to talk about dreams, and deceased loved ones appearing to us in dreams.

Through out my life, I have been contact (i believe) by verious deceased relatives of mine through my dreams. I was contacted by my father, by my Grandfather Anderson, by my brother and various others. A few nights ago, I dreampt that I was in a very beautiful place, and my dog, an Irish Setter named Shannon, was there. He was young and as frisky as ever, Playful as a puppy, he would grab my elbo the way he did when he was a pup. It was a lot of fun. We rolled around on the ground and played just like we did when I first got him.

Shannon was one of my absolute best buddies when I was a kid, and when he died, I really missed him. I still do, as I miss all of my deceased family members, human and animal. I have also dreamed about my cat Termites. We named her that because of the way she tore up the woodwork in the basement when she was a kitten. Again, she was beautiful and playful. She came to me purring and rubbing her head against me.

I just thought that would make some good food for thought.

Mike

[Murfreesboro]

I think a lot of people believe that they have been/could be contacted by deceased loved ones in dreams. I am inclined to think this is possible also. The only time I ever had a dream that made me wonder myself was about one month after my mother died. I had been dreaming of her quite a bit throughout her final illness and immediately after her death, but this dream was different. She came to me, and I could feel her hand (I suppose it was my husband's hand, really, but it seemed to be hers). We were seated in the house she had built, but the house was empty, and we were talking about the afterlife. She was disgruntled, because it wasn't what she had expected. I asked her, "Isn't there a light or something? Aren't there people you would like to see?'' And she said, "No," in a petulant voice, as if she were huffy about being dead. And I said, "Well, Mama, maybe you have to look for it." And she said, "Maybe so," in a completely different tone of voice, as if I had said something to her that she hadn't considered, but was really mulling over. Then the dream ended, I woke up, and I never dreamed of her again, not like that, and not at all for a very long time. It was the last of a sequence of dreams I had had about her during that time.

The thing about this dream that got to me was her tone of voice. It was so Mama, somehow. The disgruntlement, the bemused tone she got when I made my comment. It was exactly, I mean, exactly, like having a conversation with her. And my life with her was one long conversation, anyway.

As for the animal dreams--I have had recurrent dreams about my childhood pet, a dog (also an Irish setter, coincidentally), throughout my life. Every time I have them, I know it is wrong that she should be there, that she is supposed to be dead. But I am always so overjoyed to see her. I do believe, emphatically, that our pets survive in some form, too. It makes no sense to me that a God who had created them would love them less than I do.

[Morticia]

"Every time I have them, I know it is wrong that she should be there, that she is supposed to be dead. But I am always so overjoyed to see her."

I know exactly what you mean. I've had that same thing happen with dreams about my mother and my dog Shadow.

[Pumpkin_Man]

I think one of the wierdest dreams I ever had was about my father, shortly after he died. I was actualy about a month or so after. I was looking at a sun rise, and my father and older sister (my older sister is still alive, my father is dead) were watching 2 suns setting. I commented about the sun that was rising in the East, and they both answered back that "No, there are two suns setting in the West," and we got into a MAJOR argument, because they refused to acknowledge that there was one sun rising in the East, and I felt very indignant about it, and they were equaly as indignate and frustrated because I refused to acknowledge that there were two suns setting in the West, all though I did glance at them and knew they were there. They. likewise, knew that there was one sun rising in the east, and they didn't want to face that for some reason, so we argued and argued back and fourth. I stuck to my guns, and hammered home the point that there was one sun rising in the East, and they stuck to their guns, and hammered home the point that there were two suns setting in the West.

Wierd? I wonder what it could mean.

Mike

[Murfreesboro]

That is an interesting one, Mike. Especially so since your sister is still alive, yet she seemed to be siding with/identifying with your dad.

In general, I would think that the sun rising in the East might symbolize life and birth, whereas the sun(s) setting in the West might symbolize death and finality. It would make sense that your recently deceased father would be looking at the setting sun while you were looking in the other direction. But I cannot figure out what your sister was doing on your dad's side of the argument. Perhaps if I knew the family dynamics I could come up with a theory.

When the Olympic skating champion Sergei Grinkov died back in the mid-90s, I remember hearing that Russians, according to Orthodox custom, believe that the spirit of the recently deceased lingers on earth for maybe forty days. I thought about that because my dream about my mother happened about one month after her death, as did yours about your dad. That's not too much before that 40-day belief of the Orthodox.

[Pumpkin56]

I've had a handful of dreams like that. It was always as Murf said, where I knew that they shouldn't be there but I was still so happy that they were. Most of them were about my grandfather. The first ones were pretty tough because when I would see him, I would pretty much glue myself to his side because I felt like if I lost sight of him, he would be gone again. And eventually, he would always try to get me to go do something for him, like 'would you mind getting me such and such?' or 'I think the phone is ringing. Would you mind going inside and answering it?' I would always tell him no and that I didn't want to because I knew what was going to happen. He would keep trying to tell me it's okay just go on do whatever it was he was asking. I always kept saying no to the point that I would start crying because I didn't want to leave him and I couldn't understand why he was trying to get rid of me. Then I would wake up and realize I had been crying in my sleep. The last one I had was much better but that one is a much longer story.

I lost my only aunt to cancer almost two years ago. She died in March of that year but I think the last time I saw her was Christmas day, which I've never really forgiven myself for because she lived only minutes away. I should have gone to see her while she was at home and I should have gone to see her during her final days in the hospital. I couldn't even bring myself to go in and see her at the visitation before her funeral. I've only had one dream about her and oddly enough, it took place at my office. I had gone down the reception area to drop something in the mail and when I turned around, she was in the doorway on her way out. It was another one of those where I knew she shouldn't be there. She told me goodbye and that she and my uncle had to run. It took me a second but before she got completely out the door I called out her name and ran to her and gave her a hug and just said I love you and then I woke up. I guess it was just my mind's way of letting me say goodbye to her since I didn't do that while she was still here.

[Pumpkin_Man]

Murf, my father and my older sister were really close, well we all loved dad, but my older sister was his first daughter. He use to call her "his dimpled darling." She allways had a great deal of respect for him.

Pumpkin56, I had a simular situation with my late brother Jack. It was the 26th of December, 2001 (just one day after Christmas) he invited everyone to his house for a little gathering. I had just purchased my first DVD Player, so I declined the invitation. I figured that I would be seeing him at the next family gathering at the end of January for the Winter Birthdays. (We use to celebrate everyone's birthday each season) Anyway, the next day, after I got home from some errends I had to run, (the 27th of December) my brother died. I felt HORIBLE for not being at his house, as that was the very last oportunity I had to tell him that I love him. The very last time I ever saw my brother Jack alive was on Christmas Eve of 2001. Christmas was allways his favorite holiday.

I've had a few dreams with him in them, but they're a bit personal.

Mike

[Murfreesboro]

Pumpkin, I think a lot of people, especially young ones, have a very difficult time acknowledging death. That was probably why you couldn't bring yourself to visit your aunt toward the end. I'm sure she knows you love her. The truth is, we all carry some guilt about our loved ones who have passed on. No matter what you try to do for them, or how much advance warning you get, you always know you could have done more, been better, spoken differently.

Mike, that situation with your brother is very sad. There's no way you could have known you were missing your last opportunity to see him. We never know that about anyone, really. Any time we part with someone we love, it could be the last time.

[Pumpkin_Man]

That's very true, Murf. I had no clue that Jack was going to die that very day. I knew he was diabetic and in very poor health, but I thought he would be around until he was at least in his mid 60s. He's the first family member of my generation to die, and it really hit us all pretty hard. Last December 27th was the 10 y ear anniversary of his death. We all had a family gathering at my brother Bob's house. It was my nieces idea. She was feeling a bit bummed out due to it being a 10 year anniversary. I did a simular thing on the 10th anniversary of my dad's death and my Mom's.

Mike

[zoltan hound dracula]

HI ALL,I DREAM ALOT ABOUT MY GRANNY EVEN THOUGH ITS BEEN 20YEARS SINCE SHE PASSED AWAY,SHE WAS A NICE LADY,WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU,I MIND THE DAY SHE DIED IT WAS A SATURDAY MORNING I SPENT THE NIGHT OVER AT HER HOUSE,MADE HER BREAKFAST,WENT THROUGH TO DO THE WASHING UP ,CAME BACK I SAID GRANNY DO YOU WANT MORE COFFEE,SHE DIED IN HER CHAIR,SHE WAS 84YEARS OLD,I HAVE LOADS OF DREAMS ABOUT HER,CRY IN MY SLEEP TO,BUT I KNOW SHE HAD A GREAT LIFE AND WAS FULL OF LIFE TOO

[Murfreesboro]

Aww, that's poignant how she died. Yet she was fortunate, too, to be able to live her whole life in her own home, with a loving grandson to care for her at the end.

[zoltan hound dracula]

Aww, that's poignant how she died. Yet she was fortunate, too, to be able to live her whole life in her own home, with a loving grandson to care for her at the end.

HI MURPH,THANK YOU FOR THOSE KIND WORDS,

[Pumpkin_Man]

We had a simular situation when my father died, Zoltan. I was at work, but my mother was home alone with him. My niece was at school and my sister was at work. Dad got up, had breakfast, some Petitza that my sister in-law made for him, and suffered a stroke and died around 9 that morning. My mom called me at work crying. At least he got to eat something he loved before he died.

And yes, I do dream about him from time to time.

Mike

[zoltan hound dracula]

We had a simular situation when my father died, Zoltan. I was at work, but my mother was home alone with him. My niece was at school and my sister was at work. Dad got up, had breakfast, some Petitza that my sister in-law made for him, and suffered a stroke and died around 9 that morning. My mom called me at work crying. At least he got to eat something he loved before he died.

And yes, I do dream about him from time to time.

Mike

HI MIKE,YES ITS HARD WHEN WE LOOSE A LOVED ONE,I STILL DREAM ALOT ABOUT MY GRANNY BUT MOSTLY THE GOOD TIMES I HAD WITH HER,I MISS HER LOADS,CAN I ASK MIKE HOW OLD WAS YOUR DAD

[Pumpkin_Man]

Hi Zoltan:

My dad was 83 when he died. He died just two days after my 33rd Birthday. July 26th, 1993. My mom died when she was 76 years old, on Jan 27th of 1997. I miss them both, as I do my late brother, Jack, and various others.

It is my belief, as I stated before, that our deceased relatives, including our pets, do tend to contact us through our dreams. I believe that I was even contacted by relatives who died before I was even born. My Great Grandfather Anderson, appeared to me in a dream once, and reassure me that my father "still loved me." My Irish Setter, Shannon came to me in a dream a few days ago and gave me a love bite on the elbo. I have also had dreams about various other deceased relatives that are too numerous to mention. I pretty much wrote them off to how I was thinking about th em when I was sleeping, but I more or less figured that dreams could be a way that our deceased loved ones may try to contact us, to let us know that they still love and care about us, even though we're still here on Earth and they're in the here-after.

Just some food for thought.

Mike